This post was originally published at OTWOMD™ on August 5, 2008, syndicated for FreeMan™

Have you ever thought what would happen to the Philippines if Mindanao became a sovereign nation? I’m sure this is so far fetched because everyone of us wouldn’t allow that to happen. But with the looming crisis above our heads and the majority of the congressmen leaning on the wrong side of the fence, who are we to dismiss this very possibility? First it was Spratlys, now Mindanao? what’s next? Babuyan Islands? Cordillera? or the Visayas? heck let’s just create our own nation with our own pieces of land haha. Seriously, I want to ask you again, have you thought about the Philippines without Mindanao? Well if you haven’t then read on because you’ll surely be surprised in taking for granted this very historic national issue and threat on our own identity as a nation. So this is what will happen if the GRP-MILF MoA will push through…

1. The World Almanac and Google Maps would have to revise their map of the Philippines in order to look like this:

2. Mt. Apo would not be the highest peak in the Philippines anymore. It’s successor, Mt. Dulang-dulang will not inherit the crown either for both of them are in Mindanao. Philippines would have to settle with Mt. Pulog located in the Cordillera. But not for long because Cordillera is another Autonomous region remember? Who knows? LOL

3. The Aliwagwag falls will not be the highest waterfalls in the Philippines, so as Ma. Christina falls because they are both in Mindanao. The Congress would have to pass a law declaring the already dried “hinulugang taktak” as the nation’s national waterfalls. Hindi pwede ang Pagsanjan kasi daming Pedophile haha.

4. Eat Bulaga would have to re-write their Jingle. It wouldn’t be “Mula Apari hanggang Jolo” anymore… it would become “Mula Apari hangnag Cebu“.

5. The Philippine Flag would just have to let go of the third star and settle for the two remaining stars around the sun.

6. Speaking of stars, soon “Inang Pilipinas” (motherland) would not anymore clothe herself with the Philippine Flag-inspired Balintawak because she will wear Darna’s costume instead. Make sense since Darna has only two stars on her breast.

7. All of us would have to renew our passport because it will be void in Mindanao. People going to Mindanao would apply for a visa in the Mindanao Embassy in Manila.

8. Nur Misuari would be the President of the New Mindanao Republic… and he will give his first ever SONA behind bars.

9. The Embassy of Mindanao will be under the administration of Ambassadress Loren Legarda since she already established various diplomatic relations with the Abu Sayaff, MNLF and MILF… and soon with Osama Bin Laden

10. ABS-CBN would have to promote Ces Drilon as the new Mindanao Bureau chief responsible in getting news from the ASG infested areas.

11. Philippine Airlines would have to purchase additional Boeing Aircrafts for their separate entity of Mindanao Airlines. And the logo of the PAL in Mindanao would be the crescent moon. A new catchphrase would be created: “DAY AND NIGHT SERVICE”

12. Those bearing the name of Luzviminda would have to change their names in their Birth Certificate since Luzviminda would not anymore exist, hence the name Luzvi will be used.

13. The Philippine Eagle (Pithecophaga jefferyi) will be the sole property of Mindanao and it will be stricken out from our constitution as our national symbol. Hence, the Philippines would settle for the Maya Bird (House Sparrow - Passer domesticus) as its National Bird, after all it symbolize’s the nations struggle for rice since it is notorious for consuming rice in the rice fields. Very appropriate indeed huh?

14. There would be no more Balikatan Exercises between the US and Philippine Military in the virgin forests of Mindanao. Instead they will have their training in the denuded mountains of Leyte, Infanta and the Cordillera. Or better yet in the squatter infested mountanous region of Baguio City or with the scavengers in the smokey mountain. At least bundok pa rin!

15. Pacquiao would eventually give up his citizenship in Mindanao and would take an oath as a new citizen of the Philippines. He prefers Manila because there is no embassy bar in Mindano to pose pictures with unknown drunk women

16. Prices of Pirated DVDs and CDs would eventually skyrocket because because the Philippines have to import them from Mindanao where most of the Moslems of Quiapo migrated (thanks Monaco)

17. Durian will eventually be expensive also since we will import them from Mindanao. Mindanao on the other hand would get rich from this crop and will utilize it to use its extract to create different kinds of scents and perfumes. (thanks Mahalia)

18. Sarah Balabagan will be chosen as the Ambassador of Godwill by the United Nations, together with KC Concepcion. Sarah would rise to stardom and would eventually shoot a movie with John Lloyd Cruz haha.

19. Ate Guy will be hailed as Minadano’s first ever National Artist. She will then be converted to Islam and would take the name of “Nur Ah-Onor” haha (thanks Monaco)

20. Robin Padilla will run as Vice President in Mindano and will make a spin off of the fantaserye Joaquin Burdado titled “Joachim Turban-o”

21. Erap will be appointed by the Mindanao Government as the head of the Muslim Youth Foundation and he will be responsible in taking care all of the funds. He will also be given by the Mindanao Government a lifetime supply of envelopes. Clarissa Ocampo will be his undersecretary.

22. Miguel Zubiri will apparently lose the 2010 elections as a senator, because there will be no more ballots coming from Lanao and Maguindanao province that will sky rocket his votes. Coco Pimintel will finally win. (thanks DFish)

23. Henry Sy will build the Largest Mall in an Islam Nation of Mindanao and he will call it the “SM MOROMALL”

24. Banco De Ero will merge with the Central Bank of Mindanao and it will operate as “Banco De Moro”

25. After all of these are through, Gloria Macapagal Arroyo would be judged in history as the most hated Philippine President of all time, owing to her GRP-MILF MoA. This is a very sad State Of our Nation as one of the most democratic Country in Southeast Asia.

O ikaw naisip mo ba ang mga ito? (How about you, have you thought about these things?)